Life Lessons that became Life Values
Acceptance, Not Judgement
There's a moment from when I was about 10, that is etched in my memory. My sister had recently been diagnosed with several special needs disorders. She was around 8. My mom, sister and I were at Walmart and checking out when my sister got irritated and started having a fit. I remember her hitting and kicking my mom. I was just standing there silent, looking out at all the faces looking at us. I could read their expressions. My mom, always cool under pressure, embraced my sister while completing the payment with the cashier. Then she told me to take the cart to the car and as my sister continued to struggle, she picked her up and we walked out of the store. That was the day I promised not to lead with judgement. I started a practice that I still follow today; when someone's behavior seems out of place, I ask myself in what circumstances might this behavior be understandable? We can set the example to lead with acceptance and give others the space for life to get messy, without judgement.
Be Confident in You
I remember being in high school and realizing I had finally found friends that accepted me for me. This was a pivotal moment in my life. I formed bonds that were so strong, some of them are still my closest friends today. Before that, I was always adapting from one person to the next. Have you ever tried to fit in? Has someone ever reacted to you in a way that made you recoil into your shell? This life lesson and commitment to being my authentic self, has opened up many opportunities across my life. True life fulfillment, joy and love are waiting for you when you identify your authentic self and life. I'm committed to helping others discover their path and walk it with confidence. No more fitting into other people's boxes!
Put Yourself First
If you're anything like me, your needs were always at the bottom of the list. I thought this made me a good person, friend, partner, and parent. If you've already learned this lesson, hats off to you! In this instance, I was a slow learner. After a long time and no change to this order or prioritization, I hit my breaking point! I didn't have my moment of realization until my alignment with myself was so far offshore that I couldn't see the land. I remember a deep hurt that felt like a life-or-death decision. Do I choose the life that feels right for me or do I choose the life that puts their needs and wants first? What guided me in that moment of despair was this series of questions. What matters most to me in life? What is my #1 purpose? Can I achieve that on this path? These reflections often come up when I'm speaking with others who are at a crossroads in life. No matter the dilemma, when we dig under the surface for internal guidance we see the answer clearly. This clarity is what I uncover for others so they can move forward with assurance.
Love with an Open-Heart
For anyone who has lost someone they are close to, I'm sorry. That pain is unlike any other. This was my mom. I share the photo not because it's sad but because the love is so obvious. Great loss only comes after great love and vulnerability. My mom was a friend, a mentor, a guide, and a giver. She gave my son and I love and encouragement like no one else. The grief that I felt was furthered by also seeing my son (8 at the time) grieve the person that he always wanted to share his life moments with. At times, I felt like there must be something wrong with me or that I was dwelling in my grief. It seemed that I was taking longer to "move on" than others in my family. Then I realized, my grief is a reflection of our bond. I know how deeply you have to love to feel that kind of pain and after healing, I made myself promise to open my heart like that again. Now, I'm leading others through the steps of their grief and how to open their heart again.